The 2000’s are a rough place to start a Top 10 Christmas movies list.

But that’s what we are going to do. Start now and travel back in time. The trip gets better the further back we go, so that’s how we’re going to do it. When you eat a steak dinner with a side of veggies do you eat the steak first? Of course not. You get the veggies out of the way first. So we’re gonna start with the veggies.

Here we go:

1. Elf
2. The Polar Express
3. Nothing like the Holidays
4. The Santa Clause 2
5. Christmas with the Kranks
6. Love Actually
7. Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa
8. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (Jim Carrey)
9. A Christmas Carol (Jim Carrey)
10. The Santa Clause 3

Ok, so before I go in depth on each of these picks (and change the order around) let’s see what we have. Hmmm. Two sequels to a movie that was made in the nineties, two remakes of classic movies starring Jim Carrey (really?), a movie with puppets that makes you wish Michael Caine would show up — and everything else.

Ok I can’t take it anymore. Let’s see if we can make this better.

1. Elf
2. The Polar Express
3. Nothing Like the Holidays
4. The Santa Clause 2
5. Love Actually
6. Veggie tales: Saint Nicholas: A Story of Joyful Giving
7. Christmas with the Kranks
8. Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa
9. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (Jim Carrey)
10. A Christmas Carol (Jim Carrey)

Ok, that makes me feel better. Kinda. Anyway let’s get in there and look at each of these. Starting with the veggies of the bunch.

10. A Christmas Carol (Jim Carrey)
Where to start here? It’s a motion capture remake of A Christmas Carol brought to you by the same folks that gave us The Polar Express. The idea being that the technology has evolved and will give us a better movie than pol-ex. Not so much. Don’t get me wrong, I like this movie fine, but its seems to me we threw some stuff in here just to see if we could. That scene where Scrooge gets miniaturized and chased all over the place? What was the point of that? Just to see if we could? Visually this movie is fantastic, but visuals do not a movie make.

9. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (Jim Carrey)
Another Christmas movie with Jim Carrey? Yes indeedy. This one is a live action remake of the classic cartoon. Which was a half hour long. How do you make a half hour TV special into a live action movie? You stretch it out with a strange back story that explains that the Grinch hates the Who’s in Whoville, not because they sing and dance and play but because they were mean to him when he was a furry green Grinch child. My head hurts. At least we got Faith Hill singing “Where are you Christmas”.

8. Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa
Yes It’s a TV movie, but it’s a movie and it beats all the other movies that didn’t make this list. Disney’s latest attempt to make use of the Muppets in a good way ranks above their last attempt A Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie but below A Muppet Christmas Carol and A Muppet Family Christmas. Disney did sign around 832 celebrities to guest star (go ahead count), but ran out of cash when it came to the script. Not that this movie is awful, but by the end you realize you were expecting more and you’re not going to get it. Here’s hoping the new Muppet movie gets it right finally.

7. Christmas with the Kranks
A Christmas movie with Tim Allen where he’s NOT Santa? How did that happen? This movie ranks at #7 for one reason: in this town apparently it’s not ok for 2 people to decide they’re not going to cater a party for the entire town on their own dime and instead take a nice romantic vacation to a warm tropical island. Never mind that this is their first Christmas without their daughter since she was born, no we have a decorating contest to win guys. Now suck it up and open your wallet. If you can get past that one little problem this could be an enjoyable movie.

6. Veggie Tales: Saint Nicholas: A Story of Joyful Giving
I know what you’re thinking. It’s a movie with talking vegetables. Is this guy crazy? Hear me out. While some of the Veggie Tales shows and movies are a little low on production values they are always enjoyable. Whether it’s their cute stories, silly songs, or the funny jokes you don’t expect from a show like this, Veggie Tales never disappoints. This tale is one of the more enjoyable Christmas films from the gang. A retelling of sorts of how Saint Nicholas got his start on the road to becoming Santa Claus. Say what you will about talking vegetables but the Veggie Tales gang always puts on a good show.

5. Love Actually
While not a traditional Christmas movie, several of the stories have to do with the holiday so the film finds a place on this list. (And no that doesn’t make Die Hard a Christmas movie, entirely different situation). While some aspects of this movie keep it from ranking higher (nudity for one), others keep it higher, so it floats in the middle.

4. Nothing like the Holidays
If you’re looking for a movie about a dysfunctional family coming together at Christmas this is the movie for you. One of the best new family comedies I have seen in a while this movie follows the story of a son who returns from the military as he tries to adjust to a his civilian life and his family and friends, all who are dealing with their own problems. The holiday is approaching and the fighting is getting worse. At the end of it all can this family put aside their quarrels and come together in the spirit of the season? This movie comes in at 4 on my list because of its realistic portrayal of family and the world we live in, as well as showing me some new customs at Christmas that I had never seen before.

3. The Santa Clause 2
The best sequel to the original Santa Clause film so far (and maybe the best Santa Clause film). I say best sequel even though there has only been 2 because lets face it: the third one just doesn’t measure up to the first 2. I say so far, because while Tim Allen has said he didn’t want to do anymore of these movies, he doesn’t have much else going on. Also don’t put it past Disney to make one without him, or a reboot, or an animated film. Anyway this time around Santa has to get married or else he won’t be Santa anymore. No North pole, no elves, no Christmas. Also Santa creates himself a toy duplicate to watch over things while he’s out that kinda takes over the North Pole. And to top it all off his son is having trouble in school. Can Santa help his son, find a wife & get back to his work shop in time to save everyone from the evil toy dictator? Well this is a Disney movie soooooo….yes.

2. The Polar Express
Polex is one of my favorite modern Christmas films. Sure critics will say that the motion capture leaves something to be desire with its “dead eye” syndrome, but truth be told, many classic Christmas specials and films have problems. We overlook them because we love them so and I am willing to do the same with this. This film follows its main character, a small boy who is not sure to believe in Santa anymore, on a trip to the North Pole onboard a magic train. He meets new friends, gets in some interesting situations and in the end finds that believing doesn’t necessarily mean seeing. A great new movie with great new music. I bet you can’t keep yourself from singing Santa Claus is coming to town along with all of Santas elves.

1. Elf
Let me start by saying I don’t like Will Ferrell movies. I don’t find him funny at all. That should tell you how much I enjoy this movie. I think alot of credit should go to director Jon Favreau (that’s him as the doctor, by the way). This movie avoids the usual Ferrell problems: its not overly disgusting, not over the top crazy. Yes, it is kooky but not over the top. It’s fun and this is a character Ferrell was meant to play. The charm, the innocence, the naivete. This movie could not have starred anyone else. The plot is original, a human raised at the North Pole by elves travels to NYC to find his real father who is on the naughty list. An entertaining movie that puts you in the Christmas spirit.